Der Toden - A Journey with an Acorn [Redux]

Once upon a not too long ago in a land that’s not to far from here, but really, in hindsight, not that close either, over the rickety concrete bridge and under the jelly tunnel lived a small acorn named Tod. He was indeed very small, but not too small that you couldn’t see him, he was definitely there, just not there that much

Tod was a ridiculously special acorn; he could talk, walk and sing little songs about his life as an acorn. Tod wasn’t a particularly attractive acorn, but who really wants to fuck an acorn anyway? I suppose other acorns might but… Oh did I forget to mention... TOD IS THE LAST ACORN LEFT ALIVE =O how’s that for drama?

Tod had one friend in the world. An invisible beaver in a suit named Beaver Jones III, Beaver Jones III was a very posh beaver so no one liked him, not that it mattered. No one could see him, he just kind of was there... like a presence... like when you know someone’s there. But you can’t see them... Coz they are invisible but they are definitely there, you feel their breath on the back of your neck, feel their cold, piercing gaze bore through your forehead… not that Tod ever experienced either of those, Tod could see him and also has no neck or forehead.

One day Tod and B.J.III decided to go for a walk to the other side of the valley to fetch some fajitas for the party they would be having that night to celebrate Tod being sober for a year, alcoholism effects 1 in 6 million acorns, and when they were around, Tod had quite a big family, now this valley is a reasonably small valley but I suppose to an acorn and invisible beaver in a suit, distance can seem a little skewed.

Tod and the new incarnation of BJ, named Beaver Jones III : Commander of the French Armada reached the bridge crossing the oddly named Lake of Certain Death, which was comprised chiefly of pink and white marshmallows bobbing up and down in a lake of molten coffee. Now, since when have marshmallows spelled certain death? I mean... fair dues if you're allergic or something but aren’t marshmallows just solidified goop? The coffee might give you a nasty scald but it wouldn’t kill an acorn and an invisible beaver, surely?

The "Intrepid" explorers start crossing the super reinforced bridge in a tentative manner... and rightly so, the bridge snaps under the enormous weight of our acorn friend and his delusion, the acorn and the now re-named Arch Duke Franz Beaver Jones plummet about 30.. Wait for it…. Wait for it….

Centimetres and die in a pink and red goopy explosion.

ABRUPT!

The end...?

…Probably